I posted the following as my profile on a singles website. I realize that it pretty much kills my chances of ever having a relationship with any woman on that website, but it was still liberating to publish a true and honest manifesto of who I am and what I want, or don't want. Being that it is so informative in that regard, I decided to post it here as well, if only for the benefit of one or two people that I know read this once in a while. As usual, sorry about the length, and in this case perhaps TMI:
It would be nice to meet women that just want to go do things. I am willing to try new things, or old things, within reason. I have standards, so there are some things that are not going to happen, such as sex outside of marriage. I've approached this topic casually in the past, because I was under the impression that if I didn't bring it up it would never be an issue. Apparently not, so pardon my bluntness. I'm not saying I only want someone to marry. It seems to me that there should be plenty of things a man and a woman can do together even if sex is off limits.
We could hike to see some breathtakingly beautiful vista (it's just pointless, and even painful, alone). We could play frisbee in the park, go to a play, visit a gallery, window shop, cook a meal together (or just let me cook for you, then clean up the dishes together). We could talk. I like talking. I like being talked to. I even try to listen sometimes. You learn things that way. I like to learn things. I like to talk in short sentences. For effect.
All of that said, I have recently had experiences that indicate I might be asking too much. It seems that the only non-Mormons that can stand Mormons are the ones that don't care about religion. Or my standards, for that matter. Not that I judge them or reject them because they are "not good enough." It's just too difficult to find common ground (at least on that topic) with someone that simply doesn't comprehend my motivation. I just want to hang out, and they think that is clothing optional.
So, it may be that I am wasting my time on singles sites. I'm LDS. We prefer that to the word Mormon, since the term has virtually no meaning in describing who we are and what we believe. It was just a convenient slang used by opponents of our religion that stuck, and we chose not to be bothered by it for many years. Recently, it has become more bothersome because many people hear it and don't realize (or accept) that we are Christian. Let me put it on record: I accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. There. That should be enough for most of you.
I can't be perfect, and I can't make myself perfect, or save myself a place in Heaven (another myth, hopefully dispelled), but religion aside, I feel some obligation to be a decent human as much as I am able. Maybe there's some unnecessary burden of guilt attached to that, but I'll take that over spending my life trying to pretend that my actions never have any consequences.
What it comes down to is that the non-LDS Christian women seem to think I am following a false religion down to Hell; the secular women think my religion (and all of its rules) is stupid; and since I am not the best Mormon lad, the LDS women don't care much for me either. And yet, I am not a bad guy. I say with complete confidence that any woman of quality who is looking for a man of quality would find that I can make her life blissful. I have all the right standards and values to satisfy all but the most discriminating Temple-bound daughter of Zion, and I am ridiculously talented as well. I've even been told (mostly by my patients who are 70+) that I'm not bad to look at, but maybe they are just seeing my compassion and caring and getting it confused with handsomeness. Women do that, I hear. I can fix things, too. Almost anything I set my mind to.
The only place I won't go to attract a woman is to be an insensitive jerk, i.e. a bad boy. I don't know what sick obsession makes so many women fall for, and STAY with these sorry excuses for manhood. The story I hear is that you see the good man inside and hope you can bring it out. Very admirable. I applaud you, but if that's what you want, get to work and stop complaining about it. I'm talking to most of my coworkers, BTW. Sorry for the distraction.
Here's me in a nutshell: (Help let me out of this thing! It's too small!) I kid! I kidddd! Because I love, I kid!
Anyway, being as honest as I can be here:
-I work night shift, so I am necessarily a night/morning owl.
-I spend a lot of time on the computer/internet out of sheer boredom and lack of alternatives in the middle of the night. I don't always go to websites that I should. I have played MMORPG's, but not currently.
-I quit smoking, drinking, drugs and extramarital sex, etc. in 1986 on the day I was married. I have no desire to resume any of those habits.
-I was married a little over 15 years, divorced a little over 8. No marriages or even vaguely serious relationships since, except with my 4 (1 of each) amazing children.
-I was voted most talented in my high school graduating class because I do it all: drawing, painting, making cool things out of mundane objects; guitar, piano, tuba, trombone and various other instruments, singer with a high B range (barely, for now); write songs, poems, commentary, memos; anything else creative at any moment, in any activity.
-I am a father first and foremost. Even trolling around on singles sites is as much for my children as myself. No, they don't need a mother, but they need a father who isn't going mad from loneliness.
-I am a registered nurse. Yes, I get asked a lot why I'm not "an artist," or "a writer," or "a musician," usually when I am doing one of those things for patients, coworkers, family or my congregation. My talents are worthless if they are not being used for others. That's why I am a nurse.
-I like cooking, shopping, having a clean house, folding laundry (usually while listening to right-wing talk radio), romantic comedies (nothing beats Pride and Prejudice [A&E version]) and doing whatever a righteous and considerate woman needs me to do (but it's been a while, so maybe I just miss that out of nostalgia).
-I love women. I like looking at them, talking to them, laughing, watching movies, and especially...aw, you know... There is no activity I can think of that isn't made better by having a woman (willingly) involved.
There's more, but those are the things that come to mind and are, therefore, relevant. I have saved anyone who is curious a lot of small talk, and hopefully presented myself in as honest a manner as I can. It's a lot to read, but if you got here, either it was interesting, or you are a bit of a masochist. I'm not really interested in masochists. Sorry, if that hurts your feelings...or, um...you're welcome? Now I have to proofread it, so what does that make me?
Okay, I feel I should make this clear: I like sex with a woman. I want to find the right woman, marry her, preferably for Eternity, and have lots and lots of sex with her. That will happen when and if it does, but it's not my obsession. I have plenty of other things to do for now.
(I just thought it would be a good idea to point out that I am not gay, after all of that.)
