My Michele is dead

Another Michele has taken her place. Not like an evil twin. Not even by a bad person necessarily, but it's not MY Michele. Not in any way that I can see. Maybe it's my memory that's faulty, but this one really doesn't even have the same feel, and she doesn't seem to like me very much, which is tragic since I am madly in love with someone who looks just like her, but she's dead.

Now I see or feel her everywhere. There are too many happy memories, and too many triggers that remind me of her and those times. I know those memories are real, so I know my memory of her is real. The saddest thing is that, having devoted myself completely to this one woman, any other woman I look at makes me think of her, because if I look too long, it feels unfaithful. I so wanted to be this way when she was alive, when we were married. I wasn't and I know it hurt her. Maybe that's what killed her.